Anthony Bourdain

It’s been two years since Anthony Boudain passed. I realized it a few weeks ago as I was buying Medium Raw, his follow up to Kitchen Confidential.

It was right around the time when I closed Studio No. 7. I was dealing with the loss of my business and then my absent father popped up after 15 years…and then Anthony Bourdain died. Fuck.

His death crushed me. More than any of the other events of my life at that moment, I felt it the most. What was it all for? Was it really possible to achieve the dream life, one that I’d imagined for myself, just for it to end in hanging one’s self in a hotel room in France? How could that even be? What was it all for? Around and around I went.

After a week of utter sadness, I started to come out of it.

As I sat on my deck (a space that was very underutilized) and read Medium Raw, I realized how lucky I was to come out of that sadness. In Chapter 2 he gives a graphic description of trying to kill himself about a decade before he did. Enough time has passed that I didn’t end up in tears as I read.

I wasn’t sure where I was going with this post when I started writing and I still don’t. Depression is a real thing. These times especially are challenging for a lot of people. Check on your friends, hear their voices, see their faces (even if it’s on video), and be there.