Moreso, it’s made me think a lot about relationships. (Also, not in the “Ahhh, I’m almost 30, I need to get married sort of way.) I’ve been trying to figure out what kind of relationship would best suit me. I know that it’s not something that I need to worry about and if I just live, eventually I’ll arrive at the answer. However, I’m a thinker. And in the 2 1/2 months since I’ve been in Brazil, I’ve been in about three different interesting situations and they’ve made a few things clear to me about who I am (or confused me a bit more). I’ll make a post about all of them this week and to make sure I commit to it. I’ll list them all here.

1. Fidelity. Is It Necessary for a Marriage?

2. Can Men Really Date A Woman That is More Successful?

3. The Complexities of Dating Across Races and Cultures

The media has done a great job of covering this (especially CNN), so the idea of happy hours for Haiti boggles my mind. This isn’t an issue that needs awareness. Unless you’re a jackass that lives under a rock, you’re aware of what’s going on. (This is specifically to the US, because when I walk around in Salvador da Bahia, Brazil, I have a feeling that plenty of people have no idea about this, but that’s another issue for another day.) We don’t need to drink to donate to money. There doesn’t need to be a mass gathering. it would be more effective to just send an email t friends reminding them to donate. I would love to receive as many as these as possible, however, I’m not partying for Haiti (I mean, I’m out of the country, but I wouldn’t go if I was there.) Save the gas money it would take to get to one of these events and the cost of drinks and add that to the donation. Take the time of organizing these events and use it knocking on doors in your community or through the Internet to reach even more people. That’s if, you really want to help and not just make a name for yourself. OH! And this is more troublesome for me because you want me to give you the money and then hope it gets there when this texting campaign is so damn easy. I’ll pass.

And for the celebrities making Haiti songs and participating in telethons, I’m not convinced unless you’re also donating. I think this George Clooney inspired telethon is fine (especially since Clooney has given USD $1 million) as long as the celebrities aren’t just using it as a great photo opportunity. Actually, I don’t think they should be allowed to participate unless they give a substantial amount. Haiti needs money for food and water, not collaboration songs. Does it seem like they’re partying in the streets as they walk by cadavers?

So yes, please continue to support, pray for and send funds to Haiti. The country desperately needs our help. What it doesn’t need is a bunch of people exploiting this tragedy.

Simple ways to donate:

Red Cross: Text “Haiti” to 90999 to donate $10 or donate online.

Yele: Text ‘Yéle’ to 501501 to donate $5 or donate online.

Now, when I look in the mirror, I’m reminded that I can accomplish anything if I just work hard at it. It won’t happen overnight, (It’s taken me a little bit over two years to get to the fitness level that I am at now.) but with time and dedication, it’s possible.

I apply this logic with everything that I do and my message to you for the new year: Keep at whatever it is that you’ve set out to do. It might not happen today, but stay focused and eventually you’ll find yourself where you planned on being. Anything is possible with hard work and faith.

Now, I’m off to the beach!

P.S. - Rhona, I’m back! And I won’t be gone this long again.

In the midst of all this thinking, I heard that the debate to allow all Americans to travel to Cuba was heating up…again. Since 1963, travel to Cuba has been banned for Americans. Some people risk the danger and travel through places like Mexico or Canada. However, if they every get caught, they would face a hefty fine of $7, 500.(Technically we’re allowed to go, we just can’t spend money there. Which means…)

With Obama as President, this is probably one of the greatest chances that the travel ban has of being overturned. Of course their are quite a few opponents in Congress saying that Cuba hasn’t made any changes so they shouldn’t be rewarded. (This completely blows me. I love the US, but it isn’t perfect. There has to come a time when we stop worrying about what other countries need to change just because we feel they should. I agree that some things in Cuba should be different, but blocking travel for over 40 years hasn’t done it. It’s possible that it’s time to try another approach. I don’t know…maybe one of accepting that will in turn lead to a better conversation. Whew, had to let that out.)

A surprising proponent of Cuban travel has been Orbitz. They’ve started an Open Cuba petition that has gathered over 100,000 signatures. If you’re so inclined, visit the site and add your name to this list. And while you’re at it, spread the message of world peace.

Why does it work for me?

The pay…Before I started, I read a few different reviews on the site from people that worked there or were familiar with it in other ways. One of the things that people mentioned were the pay. DS pays $15 per article. For experienced freelance writers, it’s really not much. And it’s really not much if you are trying to raise a family of eight or something like that. It works for me because I don’t have time to find clients that want to pay me more even though I know that they are out there. My main source of income isn’t from writing. I just want to be able to make money while I’m on a beach in Brazil. They also pay twice per week with PayPal. Win.

Flexibility…There’s no way that I would have time to work on a schedule. With DS, I can write as much or as little as I want. There are many weeks when I just don’t have any free time, but when my work load is a little lighter, I know that there are endless assignments that I can find at DS. I can also do them from anywhere that I want.

Article topics…I can usually find something that I am interested in writing about. Recently there have been tons of of travel titles and even a few on Brazil. I always pick something that I’m interested and know a bit about, so it takes me a shorter amount of time to write something of substance. I’m not always crazy about the format, but it’s a very small issue.

Writing…I love writing and I’ve been trying to do it more regularly. By working with DS, it keeps my mind sharp. Blogging helps also, but knowing that someone is going to read and edit my work is a bit different. (I’ve heard that some of the editors can be rude, but I haven’t experienced that yet.)

For now, this works for me. I’ll keep you guys updated on my progress and on any other things that I find out there.

1. The Black Experience: What exactly does this mean? All black people don’t think alike. During my travels, I would personally like to know of different reggae clubs and maybe check out some hip hop, but all black people don’t like those things. And furthermore, it’s not the reason why someone travels. I’m weird enough to want to see the similarities but it’s the differences that drags me to new locations.

2. Money Focused: This is run by an airline, so of course their main reason for doing this is to make money. (They say it isn’t and their goal is to build brand loyalty with Blacks….errr, that’s the same damn thing. Please remove the wool from my eyes. It’s warm enough in here.) So to accomplish this, they focus on people that already make a certain income and are already avid travelers.  Which is fine, I guess. Actually it’s not. If they really care about making an impact, they should focus on black people that don’t necessarily travel because the more people we have traveling the better it is for the world. It helps to break down stereotypes. But, I suppose that this does nothing for their brand.

Whew, glad I got that off my chest. Kick rocks Black Atlas. You can’t just dress something up in blue and red and say it’s for me AA. It’s really just for you.

One of my really good friends is pregnant. I won’t be here when she gives birth because I will be in Brazil. I originally asked her if she was ok with me not being there and she said to go ahead to Brazil. Then the other day, I heard from a mutual friend that she was a bit bummed that I wasn’t going to be there.

My state of pisstivity (clearly I know this isn’t a word, clearly) started because I knew I asked the question ahead of time. I know that I’m not like most people. If I were the one pregnant, I would want my mom there and the person that I was pregnant by. And I would even be ok with my mom not being there. But that’s just me and that’s the way I think. I know everyone else doesn’t think that way, so I ask.

The pisstivity level elevated the more that I thought about how many times this has happened to me in the past few months. A lot of my friends have reached the point in their lives when they are getting married and starting families, so there are tons of celebrations. I can’t make all of them. I would love to, but I can’t. Sometimes there is a conflict with a wedding that I’m shooting or another friend is having a celebration. Then there are times when I just want to celebrate my own milestones.

So back to my original statement…my coupled friends don’t respect me being single. It gets me that people feel entitled to be upset because someone (I) can’t make an event that they are having to celebrate one of their milestones. (I live by the motto: whoever shows up, that’s who’s supposed to be there. Because of this, I ALWAYS have a good time. Just a thought)

Think about it for a second. People would think I was crazy if I ever said any of these statements: I’m bummed you’re getting married, we can’t go to __ anymore; It sucks that you’re pregnant because I wanted you to be in Brazil celebrating my 27th birthday;  Damn, it sucks that you’re in law school because you can’t go to Europe like I wanted you to. Oh well, you do what you want.

Crazy, right? So why can people say it to me? Is what I’m doing not important enough to warrant the same respect that I give to what everyone else is doing? Is it not ok for me to say, something that you’re doing conflicted with something that I planned in my life? I understand that it might be a big deal to you because this is your first baby shower or this is your first baby delivery or this is the first time little Timmy is gonna walk or this is the little Timmy’s first birthday or you will never have a second baby again ever or this is your only engagement party ever or this is your only bridal shower ever or this is your only wedding ever or this is…

Now, this is not my way of saying that these things aren’t amazing and beautiful and worthy of a full blown partylikeit’s1999 celebration. They are and I’m genuinely delighted about them. But if I don’t ever do any of these things, does that mean that where I am in my life is not as important? Is it not ok for me to go to Brazil to attend my first carnival ever and write my first novel ever and learn my first new language ever…even if that conflicts with your life? Would anyone ask me to postpone giving birth because they were having a wedding? Would someone ask me to postpone a wedding because they were giving birth? Would the statement “It sucks Shannon can’t make it. Oh well, when Shannon wants something that’s what she does” be ok?

The truth is, we all do what we want.

That’s when I had my AH-HA moment. (Ok, so I really can’t take all the credit for this. I was venting to Rah’saan and he brought up this little gem that we always toss around).

You can’t expect people to act the way that you do.

We’re humans and we all do things differently. It’s what makes us special, for better or worse. My friends can’t expect me to drop everything that I want to do even if it’s what they would do because we’re different people. I also can’t expect my friends to have the reaction that I would have because that’s not who they are.

See how that works…all better.

(Side note: I know someone out there is thinking that I can’t possibly compare a marriage and having a baby to me going to Brazil. But that’s the thing. I can because that’s what’s the most important thing in my world right now. And the same way that it’s the most important thing to me because that’s what I’m doing, it’s the same for everyone else and where they are in life. I’m not saying that nobody cares, but nobody cares the way that you do.)