I was close to my breaking point a couple of months ago when Nightline hosted a townhall entitled, “Why Can’t A Successful Black Woman Find a Man.” It was just the latest story in a news cycle that seemed far past its expiration date. (Essence has a fascinating timeline of how this unfolded, check it out here.)

I was wondering then (as I’m wondering now after reading CNN’s latest story “Does the black church keep black women single?“): How is this still news?

Yes, black women are single. But are we really the only race with single women in it? Also, I’m a single black woman and I’m rather ok with it. Should I really be hanging my head in despair instead?

Maybe I just don’t see the problem, much less why it’s being viewed as a growing epidemic. It’s possible that it’s because I have 10 really close female friends and out of the group of us, two are married, one is engaged, five are in serious relationships and only three of us are single. For those of us that are single, I always assumed that we just haven’t found the right person yet and not that the world (the dating world) was against us and that it was all but hopeless for us to ultimately come in contact with the right person.

It’s also possible that it’s because I photograph weddings, of which a high percentage of those are black weddings. So, I constantly see black women getting married.

Furthermore, I’ve been dating in Atlanta for the past few months (where a majority of these studies are conducted and shows are taped) and I’ve realized that there are quality guys here. Now, they may not be the right fit for me and I might get thoroughly frustrated with dating, but it’s not because the men don’t exist. I’ve easily come across seven men that were educated and looking for someone serious (only one of which was a complete weirdo). For whatever reason, it didn’t work out with them, but it’s not because there was something wrong with either of us, we just didn’t mesh.

For these reasons, I’m just not buying the hype. It seems to me that highlighting the issue the way that these news organizations do, only make the problem worse. But who knows, maybe that’s the point.

And while I wish it would stop, I’ve already seen the future. I received the email below from an organizer of one of the meetup groups that I’m in.

A major cable network is looking for Atlanta’s hottest single African American women ages 27-35 to interview for our upcoming relationship series. We are looking for women that could go pro in the art of dating; who could write a book about her experiences and articulate them like tragic poetry on camera.

We are looking for relatable, approachable, outgoing women! We want women that are having a hard time understanding why they cannot meet anyone that they’re interested in having a second date with, let alone the man of her dreams…

Have you exhausted the supply of good-looking men in town? Are you convinced that every good-looking, available man is just that because they are players that will never settle down with one woman? Let us help you put an end to this crisis! In a town where the male population heavily outweighs the female, why is it so hard to find ‘the one’ in this day and age?

For whatever reason, you seemingly have it all, but you’re still single… This is not a show where you will receive tough love or dating advice from an ‘expert’. This is a documentary series about the honest ins and outs of a single African American woman in Atlanta.

If this sounds like you or someone you know please respond ASAP with your contact info, age, occupation and a couple of photos (close-up and full body).

Send to: kredcast@gmail.com.

When will it end, when will it end…

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1. American Airlines’ Black Atlas
2. Yes, I’m Single…And I Enjoy It
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